"I was cutting, abusing alcohol, drugs, it was serious" - Nick Kyrgios reflects on dark period
ATPFriday, 06 May 2022 at 03:00
Updated at Wednesday, 29 January 2025 at 13:22
Nick Kyrgios recently revealed that his life 'spiraled out of control' before the pandemic, which pushed him to change his lifestyle and repair his ties with his family.
In 2022, the 27-year-old Australian has been enjoying one of the best seasons in his career when he finally lifted a Grand Slam trophy, even though it came 'only' in doubles at the Australian Open.
However, he admitted that living a happy life was not always the case for him. The 2022 Australian Open doubles champion, who has previously acknowledged self-harm and suicidal thoughts, told Wide World of Sports that he "wasn't communicating" in the years running up to 2020 and used drugs and alcohol to deal with his difficulties.
"It was very serious, to the point of self-harm and it’s not OK. I guess I pushed everyone that cared about me away, and I wasn’t communicating, and I just shut down real life, and I was trying to handle and tackle my problems head-on."
"I was abusing alcohol a lot, drugs and that spiralled out of control. Now I barely drink – I literally have a glass of wine at dinner. That was the initial kind of thing I had to clean up a little bit and then build my relationship back with my family and get into healthier habits like the basics; like diet, getting good sleep, trying to train a little bit more and that was it. I think COVID helped me a lot with that."
Kyrgios admitted that he was self-harming during that period, as he felt 'worthless.' However, he was able to overcome that and could now speak openly about what he experienced.
"I felt I was letting people down all the time. I felt worthless to be honest, I didn’t feel comfortable, I hated my life at one stage. I was cutting, burning, just pretty f---ed up s--t."
"It was so dark that I kind of liked it as well, like asking people to do it and stuff. What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger (and stronger). I’m still a bit cooked."
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