Andrey Rublev Bravely Admits He Saw No Reason To Live During Mental Health Issues
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Andrey Rublev has spoken honestly about his battles with mental health problems. The ATP star thinks he is in a better place after seeing no reason to live during one stage of last season.
Rublev is known for having furious meltdowns during matches. An unpleasant recent example was at the Paris Masters a few months ago, when he caused his knee to bleed from repeatedly hitting it with his racket.
While Rublev's anger on the court attracted attention, and some even found it amusing, others worried about the 10-time Grand Slam quarterfinalist's well-being off the court due to how extreme some of the anger was.
His team subsequently announced that Rublev was working with a psychologist to manage depression. It seemed like a positive and proactive step to help with issues impacting him.
While Rublev has talked about mental health before, the scale of his issues was not known until last year's Madrid Open champion held nothing back during a recent interview with The Guardian.
Rublev remembers the worst moment coming after losing to Francisco Comesana at last year's Wimbledon. That was when Rublev began to question whether there was any point in continuing to live.
"That was the worst moment that I face about myself. It was not about tennis. It was to do with myself, like after that moment I don’t see the reason of living life. Like, what for?"
"This sounds a bit too dramatic but the thoughts inside my head were just killing me, creating a lot of anxiety, and I couldn’t handle this any more. I start to have a bit of bipolar. I don’t know if you can say it like that. But the one who made that start is me. Now I feel better. I can see the things that were happening."
The World No. 5 revealed that the anti-depressants he was taking were not helping. Instead, talking with two-time Grand Slam champion Marat Safin, who encouraged him to work with a psychologist, benefited him.
"Since Wimbledon some things changed. I was taking anti-depression tablets and it was not helping at all. In the end I said: ‘I don’t want to take anything any more.’ I stopped all the tablets and Marat Safin helped me a lot with conversation."
"He made me realize many things and then I start to work with a psychologist. I learn a lot about myself and while I don’t feel in a happy mood or the happy place I would like to be I don’t feel any more that crazy anxiety and stress of not understanding what to do with my life."
When asked about seeing videos of himself being angry on the court, Rublev admitted he used to be embarrassed. However, he has learned to be kinder to himself and is in a better place than before.
"In the beginning, of course, I was feeling bad, embarrassed, because I’m not that kind of person. It’s not nice to see. Now, understanding more about myself, I’m more relaxed about it. I’m in a much better place. When I see those videos [losing control] it’s like I was in a previous life. It’s not me any more."
